Critique my new ad please.

[White Collar]

It's also a rough draft, I'm not good at making copy so any info would help. The prices are probably to low for most in here but I havent had much luck advertising by % off or $ off. Also my headline on front needs some help.

 

[Wayne Miller]

Re: Critique my new add please.

Think about the people you've done work for.

What makes them happy?

Really happy.

The last one who just couldn't shut up about how happy she was......what made her sooooo happy?

Was it the price or was it something else?

Most customers are easy to please, all they want is what they're asking for. Usually that's little more than a professional who treats them fairly and honestly and does a reasonably good job. How you get to that point, your method or how many steps there are in your process usually doesn't matter just so long as you get there.

And, while a good price is always nice, it's not necessarily at the top of the list. For a lot of people, money is a means to get the things that make them feel good. And, as I'm sure you've seen, clean carpets make a lot of people feel good.

Last night we, and a couple of hundred other people, passed up the empty drive-in windows at McDonalds and KFC in favor of an hour's wait at Carrabbas. The Outback next door was just as crowded as was the Chicago Uno Grill down the block.

What motivates hundreds of people to drive their families 20 minutes on a cold and rainy night for an hour long wait so they can pay someone else $100 to serve them dinner? Maybe because it feels good?

Carpet cleaning is no different. It makes people feel good.

What is it about your service that makes people feel good? Why is it a good value. Is it your honest professional staff? Is it your convenient 2 or three hour dry time. Is it because you show up on time? Or, because you stand behind your work? Is it your professional image that puts them at ease? The fabulous results you always manage to deliver? The lack of stong obnoxious odors? Or, is it because carpets seem to stay cleaner longer when you clean them?

You know what makes your customers happy and it's them getting those things you need to convey in your ad.

It's an emotional decision for many so use friendly images to draw people in. What works for me are kids, pets, big smiles, families, eye-contact, warm fuzzies and so on. Then, come up with a complimentary headline and let those be the dominate elements. Briefly outline what you're gonna do to make them feel good, give them the benefits. List your services. Make them an offer. Don't put in too much stuff because it all competes for the reader's attention. Make it easy to read and easy to find what they're looking for with some white space. Let your logo blend in last.

 

[Mikey P]

Re: Critique my new add please.

What Wayne is trying to say is...

The good customers dont expect you to give away your services.

 

[Wayne Miller]

It's more than that, Mike. People buy stuff because it feels good.

If you're a hardcore football fan and have your eye on a 50" HD tv, who's gonna get your business? The store that does a good job helping you imagine yourself enjoying the superbowl in front of that tv with your friends and a cold adult beverage probably sells more at a higher price than a membership club displaying the same tv in a stark cardboard box for a few bucks less.

 

[billyeadon]

Very simple, listen to Wayne but if you do run the ad you have posted spell agitate correctly.

 

[Brian R]

"Company coming soon" sounds like you haven't started your business yet.

No offense but the whole ad looks amatureish...is that a word?

 

[White Collar]

Wayne, thank you for the construvtive help. Like I said, I'm not great at writing copy but I do enjoy learning about marketing and trying to write my own, instead of having someone else always do it for me.
Brian, as for you, I probably would have taken you seriously had I not already seen the ads that you are running, tons of creativity in those puppies. This ad is a rough draft, as was mentioned, nothing that has been sent to be professionally done yet, its about all I can do with publisher.
I have other ads I use, just thought it would be fun to create one myself.

Anyways, thanks all..

 

[White Collar]

Now Wayne, I do have a serious question for you, going with the idea of making people feel happy. One way I feel I make people happy is by trusting me, and any others who have constructive criticism.

Some Marketing gurus have said that the longer a person spends looking at your ad the more likely that person will buy from you, hence the Pink and yellow flyers. Do you find any truth to that statement?

Is there any place that the following idea would be appropriate? Say a newspaper or something? I think it may have been John Braun that talks about how important it is to qualify your prospects with the type of ad you put out.

Brian, Before you read this just take a deep breath and say to yourself.. He is just Brainstorming, brainstorming.....

 

[billyeadon]

I think you are definitely getting there. Copywriters and designers get good by doing a lot of writing. If you are really interested in developing your own ads I recommend 2 great books.

The Art of Copywriting Herschell Lewis (whatever edition he is currently up to)

Design for the Non Designer Robin Williams (not that Robin Williams)

Both are available on Amazon.

There are several others but these 2 are less like textbooks and more user friendly.

Good luck.

Bill

 

[maker]

I liked most of the first coupon. The title sentence , before and after picture, list of the process you use.

I don't understand how you can protect 5 areas for $50. The protectant alone would cost that much. , not to mention the time it takes to apply it. I would definately get rid of that part. People that care about protecting carpet are willing to pay for it.

Also I like your idea about coming back, but not for free. Even if you charged $30 to come back and "touch up" people would still recognize that it is a great deal.

 

[White Collar]

Yeah, youre right on the prices. Those arent my normal prices. I usually price by sq ft. Thanks though. You are also probably right about not doing it completly free unless I charge quite a bit more.
Thanks.

 

[White Collar]

I found this picture on the internet. Wifey messed with the ad a little...what do you think?

 

[Brian R]

Get that carpet dude out of there.
I have used a cleaned up version of that and I have taken it out of most of my marketing.
It's still on my website but I think it's cheesy.

Or at least don't make him look so stretched.

Still a little wordy.

keep it simpler

 

[Larry Cobb]

White Collar;

I liked your original heading about cleaning for the holidays.

Add a "holiday friendship" photo and see how it looks.

What is the economy like in Rogers at this time?

It might affect the direction of the ad.

Larry

 

[White Collar]

Thanks Larry, I'll give that a shot. Oh and I just ordered some of your stuff today to give it a try.

 

[Wayne Miller]

I think it's getting there, too.

Pink and yellow flyers? I guess you're talking about long copy? We've used it a time or two. Plenty of people use it. If someone has an interest in what you're selling there's a good chance they'll read it. It's worked well for us in a few YP ads.

 

[alazo1]

JMO of course. Way too much type and no matter how good the existing type is it doesn't look appealing. Take a look at some of Wayne's stuff here. Also, rsvppublications.com has some good layouts. If you need to, go to istockphoto or dreamstime for some fair priced photos (300dpi).

All this said and your card may just pull really well so what do I know

Albert

 

[White Collar]

Well i just got No Bs direct marketing from Dan Kenedy. I love that book, I'm not a big reader but I almost read the whole thing last night. From what it said, I really suck at marketing and I'm a coward. good book.

I'm gonna take some of his ideas and put them into my business. If you read the book let me know and I'll shoot one of my ads that ive been working on.
I dont want to post it because I dont think it would get high marks here but he has some very interesting ideas.

Thanks.

 

[prouddadx3]

I think your ad looks good and I like the new picture. Remember your audience. Moms. What does a Mom want to know? Safe, Your trustworthy and other people like you. How about a 200% guaranty and a testimonial from a happy client and a link to tons of testimonials.

Do you want your ad to be different or look like the other ads? I try to use this type of verbiage
on my website. You may copy or steal anything that helps. I do think your on the right track and your ad looks professional but maybe too much like what everyone else puts out?
http://www.colorado-carpet-masters.com/

 

[White Collar]

Thanks for the input. You have a nice website, I'll search around on it a little more tomorrow. My ad is alot like everyone else, just trying to set it apart it tricky. I like your gaurantee Ive actuall used it in a couple ads with good success, and people comment on it. I've actually put it back in the ad I'm messing with right now.

Thanks.
ps I love the rotovac too. Some people on here arent sold, but the results have been better with rotovac than wand for me. However I dont have a very nice wand either though.

 

[Brian R]

Thanks for the input. You have a nice website, I'll search around on it a little more tomorrow. My ad is alot like everyone else, just trying to set it apart it tricky. I like your gaurantee Ive actuall used it in a couple ads with good success, and people comment on it. I've actually put it back in the ad I'm messing with right now.

Thanks.
ps I love the rotovac too. Some people on here arent sold, but the results have been better with rotovac than wand for me. However I dont have a very nice wand either though.

Grammer of the week. Maybe you should let someone else write your ads?

 

[Royal Man]

If anyone wants a post card I'm sending out for christmas that is in Ms Publisher send me an E-mail with X-mas card in the subject line. I'll send it for free. You can change it to suit you needs. I'll also send an JPEG version if you don't have Publisher.

E-mail for free card template to: Info@FreeMarketingForever.com


Dave Yoakum

 

[White Collar]

Dude Brian, Heres the deal, let the grown ups talk please. If you dont have anything worth while to say (which has been apparent from most of your posts on here) then shut up.

ps I love you.

 

[rhyde]

i like the last one but sell yourself more get rid of negative stuff about other cleaners ....'the riskey cleaners".

 

[Brian R]

Dude Brian, Heres the deal, let the grown ups talk please. If you dont have anything worth while to say (which has been apparent from most of your posts on here) then shut up.

ps I love you.

Sorry man, I couldn't resist...love you too shnookems.

 

[White Collar]

Haha.. Now thats funny.

 

[Wayne Miller]

When you're writing copy, remember who your audience is. It's Mrs. Piffleton. She's a woman, a mom, a wife. Probably a working mom with more stuff to do than time to do it. She's a lot of things but she's not a carpet cleaner, an engineer or a facilities director. She doesn't always want all the peripheral explanations about stuff you and I find so interesting. You've got limited time and space, what does she need to know about what you do?

Just a few thoughts....

"Some cleaners don't get it.......we're dealing with homes, with investments..."

Investments, true. Is that what Mrs. P is thinking about when company is coming for dinner?

When little Billy forgets to tell mom it's picture day and wears the worst stuff in his wardrobe why is it so upsetting? When she and the husband are going to the company Christmas party why does she want him to look his best? When her kids look like orphans or her husband goes around looking like a dufass.....or the house is a filthy mess.......she feels it reflects badly on her.

If you don't have room don't feel like to have to explain things like the nature of how dirt accelerates carpet wear. It's a moot point. Her stuff is dirty, it needs cleaned and she knows it. Moreover, she wants to get it cleaned. Keep it relevant to what she wants to know and help her come to the conclusion on her own that you're the one to call.

Value is a given. She wouldn't hire you if she didn't think you offered value. She has a BS dectector, she can sniff out value. Rather than telling her to make sure she gets a good value convey the professionalism that naturally accompanies value.

When you find a good image to work with don't treat it as an afterthought, use it to set the tone and the mood. Build your piece around it.

For what it's worth, here's another way of looking at it,

 

[Terry]

nice job wayne with the card above.

 

[Captain Morgan]

Wayne, you're a genius!

She doesn't always want all the peripheral explanations about stuff you and I find so interesting.

Hard to believe but true, I always forget this too!

When little Billy forgets to tell mom it's picture day and wears the worst stuff in his wardrobe why is it so upsetting?

Wayne, were you a fly on my wall last week or what?

the house is a filthy mess.......she feels it reflects badly on her.

Those were the EXACT words my wife used in a "heated exchange" we had on the subject a couple months ago when I invited my parents over and forgot to tell her about it until 30 minutes before they were expected to arrive. WOOO was sheeeeee maaaaaad!!

She has a BS dectector, she can sniff out value.

True, true that.. Don't go with the 200% money back stuff.. that's smells of crazy, desparate, "what's the catch", kind of unrealistic.

Right now, I've got more time than money, but I've learned one thing.. stop trying to re-invent the wheel. Pay a few bucks and go with something Wayne has. It's dynomite, addresses everything the woman wants.

 

[White Collar]

Dude Wayne you are the man. How much would it cost to have you send me that?
Also, I'm just doing what I can with publisher, youve got skills.